Going on 12 days at .5 milligrams

This sucks.  I am concerned.

I woke three times last night.  Am tired to the bone. Also last two days have gotten up just swimming in anxiety.  Really overwhelming.  Nothing seems to help it abate.  Except, perhaps, exercise, which I continue to do.  But that I am coming to dread.  It is so tiring and repetitious, and while it perhaps works to contain the anxiety and dread, does not get to the root of it at all.

Did I mentioned I started to have flashing lights in right eye about two weeks ago.  These scare me. Seems like lots of elderly people get them.  I am a week short of 70.  The idea that I am elderly does not somehow make me feel better.

The massacre that occurred in San Bernardino last Wednesday is seeping into my unconscious.  14 dead.  Perhaps terrorist motivations.  Overall does not add to that sense of stability that might lessen anxiety.

The old cat continues to die.  Carol tries to give her liquids.  They help, when and if she can get them in.

Carol gave her final for D45 today.

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