82 days out

82 days since I last took benzo.

Been quite a while since I last wrote here. That says something.

I have been stuporous and gone, as previously described, to heretofore unknown levels of pure misery.  Especially re: intrusive thoughts, morning anxiety, and muscle aches.

Also I had a cold for nearly three weeks.  I didn’t even work out for four or five days.  That was hard.  My sinuses are still in an uproar.  I am pretty sure I have bad allergies.

Had the yearly physical.  On the basis of listening to my heart and chest and sticking a finger up my asshole, my medical person declared me just great for my age.

I have yet to get blood work done, and am not looking forward to results.

Life Line screening (haven’t got the results from that) indicate my right carotid is not looking good.  I saw it there on the screen: a narrowing of the artery.

Dan has not yet found work.

Carol is overwhelmed (nearly) by end of quarter and other things to do.

Now that cold is over I am back working out daily, though it is hard to get myself there some days.

Benzo Buddies has topic areas.  One is withdrawal after completing taper.  There I posted:  2 Months Out:  Is this Normal?–as follows:

I have not taken any benzo since December 12 of this last year.

With each new day I seem to discover heretofore unexplored levels of misery.

Daily I experience the following: morning anxiety, dread, insomnia, aching muscles, loss of concentration, intrusive thoughts, brain fog, fatigue, hypochondria, fear of death, anhedonia, depersonalization, anger, and extreme flatulence.  Oh yeah, and depression. With some variation but pretty much each day the same old song.

Allowing for individual differences and circumstances, I still wonder: is this more or less normal for two months out?

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