A horrible day.

Woke in terrible mood.  Did not want Carol to go to Chicago and told her so.  But pulled back after about a hour of being awake and my head cleared slightly.  And said, OK.  And went and picked up the student who was flying with her and took her to airport, and came back to condo to find painters (each one Hispanic) swarming all over the place.  The cat was freaked out, as was I.
I bought some cigarettes and smoked 2.  I can’t believe it.  But my anxiety level is pretty much off the scale.  What’s that saying: my stomach is in my mouth.  Or is it your heart is in your mouth.  I don’t know and that bothers me.
Brian posted again about S:
He likes to have his comb at all times, when he is awake he is brushing his hair because it feels good. He calls it his “central head scratcher”. The remote for the bed is the “bed grinder”. He was only up in the chair for a couple of hours today because he kept leaning sideways. The hair dresser came and give him a beard trim in bed. His whiskers were getting in the way of eating. He didn’t eat much today, but had a lot of juice and ginger ale. Half an hour ago he thought it was 5:30 in the morning and the tv was on and he is afraid of disturbing the neighbors, but the tv was off and the radio app is turned down pretty low playing classic rock.

Breaks my heart.

Did twenty on recumbent, 30 on elliptical, and .5 mile swim.


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