Last night (for 2nd night in a row) took out 2 tablespoons liquid from water drug mix, and upped Valium to two milligrams and:

Woke this morning feeling just terrible.  Everything gone: my life, my libido, my legs, my back, my future,  my past…everything just gone.  gone. gone.  I wanted to cry but couldn’t.  I was scared also at feeling so, so bad.
The feeling endured most of the morning.  I kept moving so as not to just put my head down and go to sleep.  Things a bit better working out, as usual.  But still all I really want to do is sleep…but I can’t.  I will wake up feeling miserable and to much day time napping screws up  night sleep.
A little more alert at this moment….but the dregs of the evil waking feeling remain.
Did elliptical for 50 minutes and swam .5 miles.  A fellow swimmer gave me some advice on adjusting my stroke.  I may be breathing at the wrong moment and causing my right arm to arc outward rather than going straight down.
Temperature pretty much as it should be this time of year….

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