I had been planning to pull out a whole tablespoon last night but decided against it.
Instead I will do that tonight.
I have been depressed for years, particularly depressed the last five or six; now I am depressed and withdrawing from klonopin.
I woke feeling very grim and unable to articulate the grimness.
Carol went around posting post-its reading “You are feeling low for a good purpose.”
Still, they may help me to remember where I am at. It’s too easy swimming my laps and thinking I might have a heart attack at any second to forget that some at least of what I am feeling is a biochemical response to some sort of activity in my brain. And this activity is beyond my ken.
Swam 18 laps, half a mile, today and yesterday, for the first time. I may sleep better if I wear myself out.
Nasty dream. I shat two shits so huge they filled the toilet. I was sitting on a mountain on my own waste in a vaguely hospital environment.