Tried to sleep without apnea mask. That was a mistake. Woke Carol round 1:30 am making snorting sounds. Woke again at 5 with mask on and throat absolutely raw from mouth breathing. That was about it, as far as sleep went.
Got out of bed in completely defeated mood. My neck has a pain, so do my shoulders. My left knee hurts. By the time I am getting ready for club I am convinced I am coming down with the flu or something. Such is my fatigue.
Also it’s 90 degrees again. Not our usual temperatures.
And we have no AC…but the temperature did start going down about sunset…
But I go to club: do 30 minutes on elliptical, 20 on bike, and .5 mile swim.
All day in back of mind concerned about S. and his situation. Email in morning confirms he is stabilizing and he should be able to returned to assisted living situation tomorrow. Amazing. I guess I just don’t understand how much the human body can take.
I am happy he lives to see another day, but I feel as if I am watching, hearing the story of a man being tortured. And there is only one end to this torture, no escape, no reprieve. Makes me wonder what I would do–if I could consciously do anything–under similar circumstances.
I am depressed.
I believe, but need to check, tonight will be my 5th night at 3 tablespoon reduction. If so, tomorrow night I reduce by 3.5 tablespoons. We will see. This is pretty damn hard.