Well, this is just awful.
The withdrawal continues. Yesterday and today, I am ready to jump out of my skin. Additionally, my negative self image is just incredible and expands hourly. I can’t stand looking at my aged self in the mirror. Either my face or my body. Both are horrible. And my neck doesn’t look like a neck anymore. Just sagging skin.
What’s worse. I forget more and more daily. Yesterday, I was in Jacuzzi with a guy I had not seen for months. Last I saw him, he had stints put in and had trouble breathing. I think I had concluded that he was dead. But, no, there he was and I couldn’t remember his name. Carol remembered it–she was there–and Greg, he was there too. But I couldn’t remember, Doug, even though I had chatted with him on and off for a couple years about his various physical complaints.
And the other day, I saw some numbers glowing the stove, and couldn’t figure out what they were for. The oven timer, maybe. I wasn’t sure, but figured I would figure it out later. and I did with a shock. It was the clock, the numbers for the time of day. How could I have not recognized that. These little shocks…that happen multiple times daily, that remind me of my morality…load me down with fear and anxiety.
On another subject. It’s finally raining. A good over night soaking and water backing up on golf course.
So I worked out yesterday. No swimming lately. Too cold, and my congestion, while less, still hangs on. But I did the bike for an hour and twenty minutes for 800 calories.
Found a nice summary treatment of Self-Development and College writing, “The Other Side of Pedagogy,” on Google books.