Going on 8 days at 0 milligrams

A number of things since I last posted here.

I turned 70 this last Monday, December 14.

And on Friday, December 11, I did not, for the first time in 22 or 3 years, take any benzo med to help me sleep.

I have been nearly 8 days at 0 milligrams and am paying for it.  I am completely exhausted. Drained.  Feel like a squashed grade, as if my front side is in contact with my backside, as if my bones have turned to rubber.  All I could do most of the morning was sit in my big chair and ache…

Carol reminds me that this is the second weekend after a reduction, and for some reason, the second weekend after a reduction (this time to 0, the terminal reduction) I feel particularly awful.

The cat is still with us, though she weakens daily.

I have gone to work out every day, even though in the prospect I can’t stand the thought of all that repetition and cold out by the pool, but I go anyway.  An hour and 20 to 25 minutes on bike, plus .5 miles in pool.  I am probably using about 1 k calories, and I am convinced this workout is what gets me to sleep (though I have been waking repeatedly after 2 AM).

Oh, it’s raining.  Sort of.  Possibly enough to keep me from swimming.  But may slacken considerably by the time I get to the pool.  When we first woke, sun was out and looked like no rain in sight.


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