4 days at 2.5 milligrams

Four days at 2.5.

This morning was one of the worst–if not the worst–ever.  Fear, terror, regret, grief…all congealing around massive anxiety.
Just horrible.
I forced myself to get hair cut, get gas in car, check air pressure in tires, buy carpet cleaner at vacuum place, and buy Bose noise cancelling earphones.
The earphones seem to work.  They significantly reduce ambient noise and may help to cancel out crying babies, the beep-beep of trucks backing up, and that guy nearby fucking with an electric guitar.  Him, I could shot.
They cost about 350 with warranty.  I feel like an idiot.  But the idea of being in a sort of noise free cocoon seems really appealing right now.
OK…it’s not yet noon.  I will meditate in two minutes.

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